Happy Birthday!

To my Sweetie-Pie:

Happy Birthday!

(sorry, babe. This isn't your actual cake. But it's pretty awesome!)

Little White Dream Clouds

I'm posting at 2am on a night shift again, but I think it's ok. I caught enough zzz's that I'm sure my thoughts are more organized tonight.

But what I am doing is taking a short break from one of my night shift duties - checking the MAR (medication administration record). I have to make sure that all of the lists of what meds each kid is going to get tomorrow is correct and up to date. Generally it takes me a long time (at least 2 hours), which I attribute to still being a new nurse and triple checking everything. I hear there are nurses that can do this job in much less time than me...

I'm more than half way done, but my attention wavered. I figured it would be better to take a break than to keep going and make a mistake. I started thinking about all of things I'd rather be doing other than checking these MAR's...sleeping....knitting....reading...surfing the Internet....

And that particular wavelength brought me back to thinking about all of the things I'd rather being doing in life than what I'm doing now. I've been musing on my little white dream clouds for a while....if I could drop everything and do exactly what I felt like doing right now....

I would go and spend some quality time in a little-known foreign country. I'd go on a real adventure all by myself (go Britt!)

I would join a theatre. I miss the theatre a lot, and even if they wouldn't let me be in the play I'd help paint sets, or sew costumes. I'd do anything to be a part of that again because it always made me feel really happy. (by the way, I smiled giant smile on the inside when a co-worker said "you know what? I think you should have been on a Children's tv show" as I silly-ly read a passage out of a Robert Munsch book)

I might move to Ontario. I thought about how good I felt being there in 2009, and I'd love to have that back. I'd have a little cottage house in Stratford and save up all of my pennies all year to go and see the plays. It makes me smile just thinking about it.

I'd start being more myself, more often. Sometimes I feel like work isn't a great self-concept calculator when you don't feel the same age as you're suppose to act like (ie, at the moment when I want to be silly and exuberant, I have to counsel a young girl who's feeling suicidal)

What about you? If you could imagine that one day you closed your eyes, and opened them to see that all of your responsibilities were gone and you had ties to nobody....how would you restart your everything? Would anything change? Would you return to what you were you doing? Or is there something completely different hiding in your little white dream clouds...?