Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My Neo-Buffy Phase

Last night, I had a pretty vivid dream....a Buffy the Vampire Slayer dream. In first person. And Angel/Angelus was there.

I won't go into too much detail for those who aren't on the up-an-up about Buffy, but let's just say it was nerdy. But I didn't find the dream particularly alarming, probably because in the last little while, I've been getting back into the Buffyverse. I'd watched it almost religiously when I was a teenager, but it's been a while since it was part of my daily life. Sure, I'll watch it when it's on at 2pm on my days off, but I actually went out and bought a Buffy comic book (from a real comic book shop) last week. I'd never had a real nerdy moment like that before - walking out of the shop and realizing that my eco-conscious self who opted against a plastic bag and realizing that everyone could see that I bought a Buffy comic....but I'm coming around to it. And if M is wondering what it is that I want for my birthday in May, I'm thinking a coupla DVD sets of either Angel...or Buffy....or both.

Well, I was just thinking about this phase I'm going through. I realized that the last time I went through a similar phase, it was with the Twilight series of books. And I'd done a lot of self reflection after that phase, too. I'd realized that I'd gravitated towards it because my own life at the time was rather depressing, stressful, and probably lonely. I was just finishing nursing school, and I was broke, and going crazy. But I read Twilight, and got totally energized. Something to live vicariously through?

But what am I now? I've been feeling much the same now as I was when I was reading Twilight. And now I've gravitated towards a teen-angsty, frivolous, relationship-based theme again! It feels really silly, and definitely nerdy, and not nearly as "adult" as I'm supposed to be, but it makes me feel happy, so I'm just going to go with it. I fully plan on purchasing the other comics in the Buffy series (I'm a few years behind, but thankfully, Joss Whedon only wrote the storylines for about a 1/3 of the comics out, and I'd rather stick to Joss' work), and I'm going to use them as the "goal" for an upcoming health challenge I'm starting this week (if successful each week, I get to buy one new book). And I certainly didn't mind the adventure I dreamt last night.

Now if only Joss and the Scoobie gang (the cast of Buffy) would get together to make a movie. Then, I think I'd be set.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

Tango With the Universe

There are a number of very productive things that I should be doing at this very moment, but I was just out for a stroll/doing errands, and I encountered a peculiar series of events which I felt was important to discuss.

Those in my intimate circle will know that lately I've been rather lonely. It's a mix of working odd hours, having few close friends in this big city, and hormones. I've felt rather cut off from people in general, even though I'm constantly surrounded by them. Well, I'd run 10k today (actually, I ran 7, and walked 3) so I was feeling really good. I showered, dressed in something presentable, and went out in search of a (used...cheap) wooden frame for a craft project of mine. Here's where it starts.

#1. I see a man looking at a map. I offer directions. Man = happy, and I go on my merry way.

#2. A young asian girl and her mother are visiting the city, and have become lost on their way back to their hotel. It's the Fairmont, so I'm easily able to get them back on trak, and they're thankful not to be lost forever.

#3 While walking in opposit directions, a man stops me on the street to ask if there are "any coffee shops in this city that aren't Starbucks," after asking if I'm a 'local.' I tell him about a little shop around the corner from where we are that's also an art gallery, and that he should check it out. It's in the same direction that we're walking, so I invite him to walk with me to the nect street. He starts to, but stop to put money in his parking meter, and as he does so, he asks if I'd like to go for coffee with him...though he would "understand if I had a boyfriend or something." I gracefully let him down, and proceed to walk home, happy that I'm still pick-up-able.

So how do I interpret these interaction? #1 is me reaching out to a total stranger. #2 is the universe giving back, indicating that you get back what you put into it.

But #3....the coffee pick-up. Evidence that if you deal well with the reverse of what you put into the universe, that you'll get rewarded? Maybe. A nudge towards continuing to remember that people won't care to reach out to you if you don't put the effort into opening yourself up?

Or they're all coincidences. It doesn't matter. I like thinking that I started something my approaching someone else. I like thinking that there's hope for the lonely, so long as you remember to keep yourself open.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Night Moves

I'm on nights again...is it a surprise, then, that I'm blogging.

I think I should let you know, dear readers, why it is that sometimes I go through spurts where I blog and I blog and blog, and why sometimes the entries are bone-dry. It certainly isn't as if I haven't had thoughts, or things to write about. No, things continue to happen. But sometimes I find I'll stop blogging for a while, and start writing in my journal more. The writing still happens, just in a different place. Really, the location is all about the content. While blogging is a great way to spread news or photographs or delighful musings, it isn't exactly the place to turn to when the things you think aren't flattering. Fodder for gossip, I'm sure.

Writing is rather cathartic for me, I know. Lately I haven't been in a 'place' where I felt that there were many people to talk to when I've had heavy things on my mind, and it definitely helps to have a place to let it all out. But the blog isn't exactly the safest place to air your dirty laundry!

Also, I've been thinking about the impact of blogging on my thinking processes. The other day I was on the bus to work, and I started thinking about how I was feeling in terms of Blog titles. For those more technologically inclined, they'd look similar to a tweet or a more frequent facebook status update. Is that weird? Summing up an entire way of being into three or four words? Of course I forget what it was that I was thinking soonafter, but I do it with some frequency and I'm a tad worried.

Has anyone else had this experience?