Thursday, April 28, 2011

April Catch-up!

It's been a while!

April's been good to me. The season is opening up, and while it's been raining plenty, I've also have my fair share of sunshine.

So in April, Mike realized that he'd signed up for the Sun Run, but really hadn't done any training. He finished, however, with a great time! I was particularly proud that he finished 10km, when he'd admitted that he'd only ever run 7km at at time. Yay Mike! I plan on running next year when I've developedmy running skills better. after estimating how long it would take me to run 10Km for the entry form, they would have put me in the  walker's category....I'm a self proclaimed very very slow runner.
Michael prepping for Sun Run. He likes cereal.

The Sun Run winner. Only 30 minutes ahead of Mike

April also brought with it Canuck Fever! Despite my hockey-free upbringing, I have managed to get in the spirit of the game, and have really enjoyed going out to watch hockey - and I've even picked up some of the rules/ can follow the puck on the tv screen! I say that, but I remarked two days ago that it only took Mike 8 years to get me there... So yesterday, I crated that little gem of a rallying poster that's up on our solarium window.
Sign on our solarium window
April was also my first "anniversary" of work at BC Children's Hospital. Yay me! Of course, that also meant yearly review time. Let's just say that it got me thoroughly stressed out and riled up. So in reply, I opted to do plenty of things very not work related. I met up with a Kamloops friend...



Friend with brand new Kilt

I also started the process of volunteering with a couple of organizations in the city. One's the Stanley Park Ecological Society (where I'll guide tween school groups as they camp out in Stanley Park), and the other's Bard on the Beach! I think both will be super fun, and give me the opportunity to meet a whole bunch of new people in the city.

And then, April marked the 5-month countown to project Ball-McBurnie. Freakout ensued. Amongst all the planning, calling, emailing, researching, money-sending, and decision-making, we made some time for fun stuff....
Meg really likes the massage chairs we tried out. registering for wedding gifts. It's actually a lot tougher than you'd think, especially when you feel like you've already got pretty well everything you need and you're home's the size of a postage stamp. But we started, anyway. I also managed to secure a photographer, some sweet vintage transportation, an appointment for cake tasting, and the cutting out of some very, very expensive dupioni silk (which game me a minor anxiety attack). April was a good month for wedding planning...but there's still so much more to do! 

And with April, you also have the arrival of Easter. I made the mistake of sending out paper invitations through the mail to encourage my friends to actually come to the Easter supper I was planning. Generally the return rate on an informal invitation is aboput 20%. I got closer to an 80-90% return rate ( including my parents from Kamloops who didn't get an invite at all!), which meant that I would be serving 15-17 people supper in my tiny abode! In the end, I was quite thankful that may parents came (they were a wonderful help in the kitchen for a girl who'd bever cooked a turkey before), and everyone who came brought delicious food for eating while we all watched the Vancouver Canucks play hockey (though they lost that game). It was a truly successful supper!

The only mar on the holiday was the death of my little hammie, Jude.
Hey, Jude.
Jude was about 2 and a half years old (quite aged in hampster circles). I came home from work Saturday and checked in on him (to make sure he was still breathing, which I often did even when he was just a midge of a hampster). He wasn't breathing quite right, so I though I'd pick him up and give 'em some cuddles. He was chilled. uh o. That day, he  wasn't just "getting old and dying," he was actively dying. He didn't flinch when I picked him up, and he was mostly limp. At one point, I was even able to push some food out of his food pouch and out of his mouth. So I snuggled him into my sweater near my shoulder and tried to keep him warm from 11am-2:30opm. His breathing pattern changed a number of times - at one point he was only breathing 5 times/minute (less than half od what humans breathe). Poor guy. I was supposed to be sleeping off a night shift, but I was too focused on trying to make sure Jude was comfortable on what was his last day. at 2:30, Meg and my parents arrived home. I passed Jude over to Meg so I could go pee, and in that 15 seconds, he died. He died in Meg's hands while I was in the bathroom. *sigh*

That's the way things are, though. And he'll get a really nice funeral soon. I wrapped him up in paper towel, and Mike put in in  a plastic bag marked "Jude" in the freezer, where he's interred until I go to Kamloops. We're going to send him off to Valhalla on a little flaming boat on the Thompson River. See you later, little peanutty buddy!

And that's April, in a nutshell! May will be fun, I know - it's my birthday coming up! the quarter century! More Spring (and hopefully less rain in Vancouver!)!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Hey Jude,

don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Na na na, na na, na na na na

Hey Jude, don't let me down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you? Hey Jude, you'll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder
Na na na, na na, na na na na, yeah

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, oh!

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jude
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jude

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jude
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jude

Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jude
Na na na, na-na na na
Na-na na na, hey Jude

Tell Valhalla I say hello, peanutty-buddy.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Flexing My "No" Muscle

This nursing thing is hard. I think I'm getting "the knack" with dealing with the kids (I even think that I'm starting to develop a little bit of intuition), but the rest of the job is mentally exhausting - the paperwork, the co-workers, the parents, the administrators - are all running me down.

I've been trying to keep the work-life balance in check (through getting into the wedding planning, trying to sleep really well, and starting a few volunteering gigs), but I still spent much of the weekend fretting over a request that my co-ordinator gave to me. I told her "no." Actually, I told her voicemail no because I was procrastinating telling her no in person and eventually I realized that she was off work for the day. I just didn't feel like I had a reason strong enough for her for me to say no. But I really wanted to. On Sunday, I spent a chunk of the day dealing with staffing issues (sick calls, empty hours for the day that needed filling) that could have been nullified if I'd just said "yes." But I didn't. So I was feeling a whole lot of guilt because I thought I was putting my peers and coworkers through more stress for my own needs....wants.

And to make it worse for myself, I'm working a night shift tonight- but I was "unassigned" meaning that there wasn't any staffing need for me and that I would just float around the three units. So where I could have been more useful by saying "yes," I played into my own desires because I knew I'd have a much easier workday if I said no.

In the end, there was a sick call for tonight, and a 1:1 child that needed attention, so I'm being made use of just fine. I really didn't need the weekend of freaking out over how my coordinator was going to guilt me.

But I was entitled to say no. I wanted to say no. I did (albeit indirectly). I dealt with trying to fix my No on Sunday when I was on the line with the staffing office. And they needed me anyway on the night shift.

I've also been doing plenty of self-reflection lately about where I fit in here, and I don't regret saying "no" because I need to have things to look forward to at work. I like working nights sometimes- easier pace, it's quiet, and sometimes you get in some really great 1:1 chat time with a co-worker you don't know very well. I can sometimes craft, or knit, or write letters. I wanted the night shifts this week to catch up on some things that I like. If I didn't have that sometimes, I don't think I would have lasted as long as I have at this job.

So I know what I need to balance life with work. I need to stick to those things in order to keep sane. I think I just need to start flexing my "Fuck, no!" muscle. That's the muscle that lies below your regular "no" muscle that allows you to deny something with utmost conviction, without shame, and without regret. I've got's just little.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Buffy who?

The Neo-Buffy phase continues. After completing my first full week of Tommy Europe's healthy living overhaul called "the 10-lb shred," I earned a new comic book. Delicious. And I ordered the first issue of the Angel comic book. Maybe it'll come in by the end of this week! M also was very kind (I assume after reading my blog) and downloaded every season of Buffy for me, which I can stream to our tv and watch on my days off while M's at work. But apparently watching Buffy makes me old. ugh.

Saturday at work, I was asked to participate in the filming of a video which will eventually be given to parents and kids before they're admitted (to give them a preview of what to expect). I didn't have to do much, and whatever I said was going to be dubbed over with a narrator or music or something. So at one point, I'm suppoed to be standing in the background of a shot, chatting it up with some teenagers. We just chatted, and after they told me about their plans to grow up and marry Justin Bieber, I mentioned my affection for David Boreanaz. crickets chirping. who? Angel from Buffy? "Oh. yeah, I know that show. My mom makes me watch it with her sometimes. But it's soo boring," one of the kids say. AUGH! For real?

Well, I'd got back at them for that pre-emtively when I said implied I thought they were actual psych patients on the unit (I hadn't worked there for a while and it was totally by accident), when in fact they were paid actors. woops.
David Boreanaz. Way hotter than...

Justin Bieber.