Getting Back to Business

In about 10 minutes (or whenever I finish this post) I'm going to go to the gym.

I haven't been in a week.

I'm not feeling motivated. For two months I was going an average of 5 times a week. I think that's pretty good. But, aside from some minor achievements, I don't feel yet like it's anything I can see. Maybe a bigger shoulder muscle. I mean, I can now run 3 km's, which I can't remember ever running before, but I wish all that work (and I did work. I sweat so hard every time) would at least show up a little more. I suppose it's probably true when they say that most of the effort is in what you eat, and it's tough when you live so close to Amish baked goods, but still. I wish I could see more results for all the work I'm putting in.

So this is why I'm unmotivated to go back after a week "off." I mean, what's the point, right? It's not like I look much better...maybe I do, it's just there's nobody I've seen that can see the "before & after"....the only other person who's seen me, really, is my mom, but she's been with me the whole time so she probably can't see much of a difference anyway. So I'm all blah. Why work so hard? Besides the fact that it's "good" for you? And it's not like I was going the 3 times per week that my gym routine suggests (when I started going, the trainer created a routine just for me) - I'm going 5 times average. But I always try for 6. grrr.

And it's whenever I finish this blog post that I have to drag myself there. So maybe I'll just keep writing on and on for a while to drag it out.

I thought I was motivated before. I'm a natural born competitor, so I was always trying to best myself. I didn't just put in the minimum when I was there. I'm now able to bench press (though, really with two 30lb free weights) 60lbs. I'm pretty happy about that. And every time I go, I add on at least a couple more reps. In my mind, there's no going back, or stagnating. Always moving forward. But why keep causing pain if all the results I'm going to get are just me knowing I'm doing good. I realize that I'm never going to have rock hard abs and rippling muscles, but a little give in that direction would be nice. Blah. I'm not expecting magic. I just want a return on my effort. I've got another month or so left on this summer membership. I'm 2/3 of the way through. Do you think that there will be a week when things start to show up? Coz if I have to got to the gym 5 days a week for the rest of my life to look "moderately decent," then I'm out. I'll cut my losses.

Ugh.

Post done.

Time to get 'a running.

double ugh.