Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hello, Friends!

It has come to my attention that I have been neglecting this blog. A lot. When was my last post again? Anyway, it's been a while. But it is a little nice to hear that others are reading it enough to notice (thanks, friends!)

I'll give you the quick low-down, as is my routine.

August: was spent working with the teenagers, seeing some theatre (Bard on the Beach, Glengarry Glen Ross with Eric McCormack), and trying to take in the sushine.

September: Went to Kamloops for my father's 60th birthday. Started to see Autumn creep into Vancouver. Started Nursing on the children's mental health unit. I think that's about when I really started neglecting writing to friends and blogging. That's when all the new nursing knowledge started getting crammed into my brain. There's a lot. It was rather like starting a whole new job, after just having become adjusted to the last job- new co-workers, new rules, new population, new modus operandi. New everything. For the past month, I've felt rather behind the eight ball. Most of what I feel I should know often comes from having kids and rearing kids, which of course I don't have. I spend a lot of time observing, and trying to learn all of the things that I think I should know in order to be able to do my job. That's a bit tough, though, when I'm never truly in an observational role - I always have a couple of kids of my own that I have to try and work with. For now, I just do the things I need to do to keep them safe. I try not to worry about the "extra" things that also need to get done, or the family counseling, simply because I don't have the skills to do them yet. (though I wish wish wish I could). I just try. Like on my very first day when I took two young girls outside to play, and who immediately got into a spat, "she hit me!" "did not!" "I hate her!" "she's mad at me" (running away to far corners of the playground) shout shout shout etc. I barely remembered being that age, let alone, worked with girls that age. I did my fair share of babysitting, but it was always boys. None had mental health challenges, and often the ones with additional care needs were only children, so I didn't have to worry about social things. But this job is totally different. And I'll learn.

October: Though last night, I thought to myself "maybe this job just isn't for me?" Being in mental health, you learn to check in with yourself a lot. And checkin in with myself last night, I wondered if all this anxiety about work was good for me. Sure, I'm learning. I'll be learning for a good long time. Sometimes being in new situations, and change, is challenging. That makes people anxious. Maybe that's me. Or, maybe this feeling just won't go away and I'm not meant to work with kids with mental health challenges. Maybe I'm meant to work somewhere else. I have, after all, been pining over working in the more medicalized parts of the hospital....

October also brought the change in colour of the leaves outside of my apartment window, the trip back home to visit friends and family for thanksgiving (yum!), and the visit to a friend who made the most delicious scones and who whipped whipping cream by hand to go with the jam on the scones. Delicious. October, I think, is the month for seeing friends again. Hello friends!

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