"I Hope You Die and Get Raped in an Alley"

Sage words from a man I'd refused to buy an umbrella from "so [he] can buy some food since [his] stomach aches so bad coz [he hasn't] eaten and nobody cares" for $1.

I'd declined him politely, jokingly saying that I've already got an umbrella in my bag with me, but as I continued walking through an intersecation, I could hear him grumbling to himself before asking another unsuspecting couple. We ended up walking the same direction for about a block, at which time he unloaded the precious gem I wrote for a blog title today.

I generally do that kind of thing when homeless and street people ask me for money; smile and politely decline. I haven't got to the point yet where I'm jaded to them so I try to make myself feel better for not sharing my wealth by remembering that I'm a nurse who works with mental health kids and that I'm already doing my part to help vulnerable people. And the homeless people generally reply with the same smile-and-nod-but-try-to-make-you-feel-guilty-about-it look.

So I had a moment when he fired a pseudo-curse back at me. I thought "Well, jeeze. That wasn't a nice thing to say. Plus now I feel less comfortable walking around downtown alone tonight" (which is what I was doing). And then I realized that I'd hit the "no" wall. I'd told this guy NO. I meant it. And he got mad. AND his reply was certainly not one that was going to make me then want to give him something. I resolved that he was angry because he needs money not for food but for a fix of some sort and he's cranky because he's overdue. But it certainbly made me feel better about getting a bad response after I told someone no. Yay me! I'm still learning that trick. People can't always be told yes, so I can't expect that they're always going to be o.k. with being told no. And it's probably not personal. I just might get asked to Die.

Should I be ok with that?