I dunno. I went out to see some friends at a local pub for some Open Mic hilarity, and pretty much I still felt blah. I'm pretty sure that's what cleared the table I was sitting at, and so then logically I felt worse because there I was sitting at a pub alone at a table....and I didn't even have a drink! There were only like 20 people there in the pub, and nobody served me. I liked listening to the music, and I got there just in time to see my friend (and her friend) perform, so that was good. Other than that, it was weird. I got there, and there were about 10 people I knew...but people I sort of know. People I used to work with, or did a show with...or went to school with...but it was like "do I go over and say hi?" "They're with friends....should I approach?" "Do they remember me?" "Is it because they remember me that they aren't saying hi?"
So naturally I was feeling more ick than when I went in. And of course, when a couple of people asked me how I was (you know, the way people do offhandedly when you see someone "How's it goin?"), all I could come up with was "doing well...keepin' afloat." Nice. So you look downtrodden, and then you try and offload on others.
So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when my table for 10 was empty. But honestly, it's not like I said much to people. But then, it could have been because I was terribly uninteresting. That's a definite possibility.
This is pretty blah, and I apologise for those who have to read this. Mind you, you come to my blog and take the risk in reading it of your own valition. I'm tired, too, which is probably why I made the decision to write this in the first place....dumb idea.
I'm just trying to nail down one thing in my life. I realized while on a hike with my parents this evening that I don't even know what I'm going to wear to Grad in a week or so. I've had 5 years to think about it....