unbalanced

Is it weird that:

So I don't have a job yet. I mean, I have "a" job, but it's my care aide job and they haven't called me once since I've been home. And despite the fact that I've done a few things, and I intend to do a few things yet, and so have tried to justify that I'm not going to go ahead and get a full time job right out of school because of these things I want to do...(if that makes sense.) I've always been a person who likes to make plans. Because of what I want to do, there's a certain amount of uncertainty....

Basically, while I'm toiling over what I'm supposed to do for work - at all - for the next 6 months..or really 12 months because I'm not even sure which province I'm going to be in...I keep hearing (mostly over facebook) about my classmate friends who have great jobs and are making oodles of cash in the nursing field of their choice - and getting experience in the things that we'll be tested on in 19 days on the RN exam - and I'm feeling a little left out/left behind.

But I shouldn't because it was my choice to do some of these things. I could easily have just taken a job in Kamloops and be working now. But if I'd done that, I wouldn't have been able to go flying for those two weeks. And I'd be stuck in a job that wouldn't allow me to go east to visit old grandpappy (who'll be turning 102 years this June) because of all the hoops it takes to get any sort of time off from work. Same goes for "undecided overseas trip." I'm expecting that will be for several weeks. What hospital is going to allow me to take several weeks off from work right after they've trained me? I had that one interview in Ontario, but the job wouldn't even start until September when I'm supposed to be away. They did say that they would train me pretty much all summer in order to be prepped for Sept, but to he honest, I don't know where I'm going to be in October. This whole mess with the economy has meant that Mike (and all other engineers) is having a harder time finding a job. So I'm waiting in the wings to see where he'll get work. That's fine. It's what we have to do, but here I go being unable to plan out my life again! egad.

I'm pretty sure I'm messed up. Look at me writing all this stuff on the internet. But I pretty much always feel better after I write it.

I'm sure I'll feel even more better when I get my ostrich costume/tutu all made up.