Being the daughter in the family sometimes sucks.
Or, just the "other child."
It means that I've lived in my family for 23 years, and I know what happens when things aren't going well, but it means that I don't really have any "power" to help. I'm pretty much useless. I don't have the authority to put my foot down on anything. In some cases, I can give input sometimes, but I just can't do anything to help, or to set limits.
For the sake of others, I'll keep the details short, but I have a family member who has had difficulties in his life. Things have been genuinely hard, and a lot of doors have closed on him. But it's really frustrating when this person doesn't do anything for himself (including cook, or clean, or do his own laundry), and then unequivocally refuses any help when others see that he has difficulties (with anything). He refuses assistance with school work, with job applications, with his emotions...pretty much everything. And you know what, it would almost be best to let him go to learn his lessons and figure things out, except he doesn't learn. He doesn't learn and then he stops doing pretty much enything because he sees that he's not succeeding.
And what's happening is that he's slowling becoming dependent on others for sustenance. He has difficulties coping with adverse situations, and he's slowly becoming that person who never leaves home...molly coddled for the rest of his life like a manatee in the zoo let go that can't cope in the wild, so they just never let it out.
Pretty much everyone reading this knows what I'm talking about. Whatever. It's one of those afternoons where everyone in my house in on edge and upset and will eventually take their frustrations out on other people in a varying ways. People are feeling angry and sad and upset and scared (not for their safety, but hiding so as to not be party to others' emotional conversations) and just wrong today.
It's one of those days where I could be reading or typing completely out of the "path of destruction" but get sucked in because someone was upset and decided that they were not upset because I'd left some shoes or some knitting in the wrong spot.
So now that I've written this and you have an idea of how messed up my family is, I'm going to accept a friend's invitation to partake in some photography this afternoon. I need to get out of this house.
I'm imagining being back here. Virgin Cove, Upolu Island, Western Samoa.